365 Days. 365 Films.

This film, with a cast and crew of unknowns, takes the “mockumentary” horror format to a new low. It establishes a conspiracy within the first five minutes that, contrary to actual fact, there was an Apollo 18 mission that landed on the moon. This top secret load of bollocks was to investigate extra-terrestrial life on the moon, but the astronauts were completely unaware of it until some moon rocks came and bit them on their arses.

I have never been a fan of modern day horror films, much less this Blair Witch format, yet I did enjoy The Fourth Kind which was an alien abduction “mockumentary” claiming to be real. What was annoying about this film was that The Blair Witch Project could have been real, The Fourth Kind could have been real, if you were deluded, even Paranormal Activity could have been real, but this is just crap! I have always thought about this specific genre as a sneaky way of hiding bad direction and this theory usually works since appropriate or clever cinematography requires no thought – it’s just like a home movie – however the terrible direction shone through with this film in the painstakingly obvious attempts to make a movie out of a nothing plot and shoddy concept. If it were a “home movie” as it pretended it was, most of what was caught on camera probably wouldn’t have been considering the circumstances within the film. For example, a man gets bitten by a rock (… I know…) and he is quite clearly rather ill, bleeding to death and going slowly insane, yet he has the good grace to get back on his feet, pick up the camcorder and continue filming.

The “aliens” are rocks, the concept is unbelievable at best, the direction is terrible, it’s so predictable and painful to watch the director attempt to build tension, when all he’s doing is making the audience bored!
I’m not even joking when I say that everyone ran out of the cinema – physically ran! Myself included… Do not go to see this film, it’s shockingly bad, and the only reason I’m giving it two stars instead of one is that Sharktopus is generally the benchmark for a one star movie, but at least a tiny bit of effort went into this film by raping an, albeit overused, but adored genre… Not any more…